Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
