Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize