right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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