I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
