I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
