I hope mine doesn't look like that
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
