just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
