I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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