What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
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