Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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