I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
