Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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