Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I feel great
I just peed on a car
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
