In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
