I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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