Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
