I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I smell like Dick and happiness
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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