We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
