Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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