Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
