I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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