idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
