A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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