just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Randomize
