I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
