He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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