It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize