And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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