How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
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I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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