wake up i wanna do it froggy style
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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