PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
