If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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