the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
she smelled like a LAN party
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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