she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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