Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
