I feel like I'm in dance class right now
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I could make wine with my vomit
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Randomize
