It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
