He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
