I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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