I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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