So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
