My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
