worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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