Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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