You really coming over, don't trick.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
