why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You've changed since you got that strap on
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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