Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
