when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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