she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
