I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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