I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
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