there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
