you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
