I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize