Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
