I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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