false alarm. still invincible.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
