Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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