what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
