I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Who died my cat blue again?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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