:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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