is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
