Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
